A Study in Texts
by KiraAlice
Summary: Consisting of texts between John and Sherlock, with some other characters popping up here and there (how original, I know). Eventual Johnlock. Rated T because of some not-so-bad swearing and I'm anxious.
1. December 10

**Wow guess who procrastinated and wrote a fanfiction (I did)**

**To make it easier to read, italics is John, no format changes for Sherlock, and bold is me (hello) up here.**

* * *

**December 10.**

John. SH [sent at 10:21]

John. SH [sent at 10:30]

John, answer me. SH [sent at 10:42]

John. SH [sent at 10:50]

JOHN. SH [sent at 10:57]

_Jesus Christ, Sherlock, what is it? JW _[sent at 11:10]

Why didn't you answer me? SH [sent at 11:12]

_I am at work. My phone was off. What do you need, I'm wasting my lunch break to text you instead of eating my sandwich. JW _[sent at 12:14]

Waste your lunch break to text? You can multitask, John, can't you? SH [sent at 12:15]

_Just tell me what you need, and leave me alone. JW _[sent at 12:17]

I wanted to text you. I'm bored. SH [sent at 12:18]

John. SH [sent at 12:25]

I know your lunch break isn't over, it isn't for another twenty minutes. SH [sent at 12:26]

JOHN. SH [sent at 12:35]

For God's sake, John, answer me. SH [sent at 12:37]

_No. JW _[sent at 12:40]

You just did. SH [sent at 12:41]

JOHN. SH [sent at 12:50]

_Sherlock, leave me alone or I swear to god, I will throw away every single body part that enters our fridge from now until the end of time. JW _[sent at 12:53]

That's ridiculous. You know you couldn't possibly do that until the end of time. SH [sent at 12:55]

_It's a figure of speak, Sherlock. JW _[sent at 13:00]

I am aware. SH [sent at 13:01]

_Stop texting me. JW _[sent at 13:02]

Just because you requested that I stop, doesn't mean I have to. SH [sent at 13:04]

_Fine, then, don't. I'm turning off my phone. JW _[sent at 13:06]

Fine. SH [sent at 13:08]

See if I care. SH [sent at 13:08]

John. SH [sent at 13:11]

I do care, I'm bored. SH [sent at 13:19]

Bored. SH [sent at 13:21]

I will text you the word 'bored' until you answer me. SH [sent at 13:24]

Bored. SH [sent at 13:24]

Bored. SH [sent at 13:24]

Bored. SH [sent at 13:24]

Bored. SH [sent at 13:24]

Okay, that's getting boring. SH [sent at 13:25]

Are you staying late? SH [sent at 19:50]

Where are you, your shift ended hours ago. SH [sent at 21:30]

Is your phone still off? SH [sent at 21:35]

What if there was an emergency? SH [sent at 21:38]

John. SH [sent at 21:40]

Where are you. SH [sent at 21:50]

JOHN. SH [sent at 21:55]

_Bloody hell, Sherlock. Stop texting me. I'm at the bar with Greg. JW _[sent at 22:03]

Who's Greg? SH [sent at 22:05]

_Lestrade. JW _[sent at 22:08]

I thought his name was Graham. SH [sent at 22:10]

_It's not. GL _[sent at 22:15]

Are you showing him our texts?! SH [sent at 22:17]

_Yes. GL _[sent at 22:20]

Don't use John's phone to text me, Lestrade. You have your own. SH [sent at 22:25]

_I don't know how John puts up with you. GL _[sent at 22:30]

_Update: John says it's 'years of patience and practice'. GL _[sent at 22:35]

Hand the phone back to John. Now. SH [sent at 22:36]

_Hello. JW _[sent at 22:38]

Don't show Lestrade our texts. SH [sent at 22:39]

_Then stop texting me. JW_ [sent at 22:43]

What am supposed to do, then? SH [sent at 22:45]

_I don't know, watch telly. Go say hello to Mrs. Hudson. Just don't text me. JW _[sent at 22:50]

I've already said hello to Mrs. Hudson today. And there's nothing on the telly. SH [sent at 22:52]

_Talk to the skull. JW _[sent at 22:56]

What if I don't want to? SH [sent at 22:57]

John? SH [sent at 23:04]

JOHN. SH [sent at 23:07]

Bored. SH [sent at 23:09]

Bored. SH [sent at 23:09]

Bored. SH [sent at 23:09]

Bored. SH [sent at 23:09]

Bored. SH [sent at 23:09]

_Shut up. JW _ [sent at 23:10]

Why? SH [sent at 23:11]

John. SH [sent at 23:13]

I checked, there's nothing on telly. SH [sent at 23:20]

Mrs. Hudson is asleep. SH [sent at 23:28]

Bored. SH [sent at 23:35]

John. SH [sent at 23:35]

_Shut up. JW _[sent at 23:36]

* * *

**Oh, well. Sorry if I wasted your time. Thanks for reading either way.**

**Reviews are always welcome. (please)**


	2. December 13

**I got inspired again fairly quickly. *shrug***

**(And yes, I will try to use the 24 hour time format, even though I am American. I do my best.)**

* * *

**December 13.**

I've used up all my nicotine patches. Get some more at the store while you're there? SH [sent at 15:26]

_Good god, Sherlock, I bought that last package two weeks ago. How many are you using in a day? JW _[sent at 15:29]

_Don't answer that. I don't want to know. JW _[sent at 15:29]

This case is requiring me to use at least a few a day. SH [sent at 15:31]

_I said I didn't want to know. JW _[sent at 15:34]

And I didn't listen. SH [sent at 15:40]

Will you get them? SH [sent at 15:41]

_Fine. I will get your bloody patches. JW _[sent at 15:44]

_You owe me 50 quid now. JW _[sent at 15:45]

Why 50? The brand I like is half that cost. SH [sent at 15:53]

_And I've bought you two packs with no money paid back. You own me 50 quid. JW _[sent at 15:55]

I thought I paid you back. SH [sent at 15:59]

_If you had, I wouldn't be requesting more money. JW _[sent at 16:02]

Fine. SH [sent at 16:05]

I used all the milk in an experiment, you need to get more. SH [sent at 16:06]

_I was going to get some anyway. JW_ [sent at 16:10]

Brilliant. SH [sent at 16:15]

Where are you? SH [sent at 16:56]

John? I need my patches. SH [sent at 17:09]

_The cashier I checked out with is taking me out to coffee. You'll have to wait on your patches. JW _[sent at 17:14]

It's a little late for coffee, isn't it? SH [sent at 17:15]

_Not by her standards. JW _[sent at 17:17]

If those idiotic self check out machines worked, I would have my patches. SH [sent at 17:19]

_Sure. Blame it on them. I'll be out for another hour. JW _[sent at 17:21]

_Don't text me. JW _[sent at 17:25]

I'll try. SH [sent at 17:40]

* * *

**I guess they didn't text much on December 13.**

**Reviews are welcome (and wanted).**


	3. December 15

**I don't know if this is the procrastination, or I am just really inspired today.** **It's probably the procrastination. **

**Hahahahahaha oh well.**

* * *

**December 15.**

John. SH [sent at 11:09]

John. SH [sent at 11:15]

John. SH [sent at 11:20]

John. SH [sent at 11:30]

_Please don't do that again. JW _ [sent at 11:32]

You didn't come home until late last night. Why. SH [sent at 11:36]

_I was with Tracie. JW _[sent at 11:45]

And who is Tracie? SH [sent at 11:46]

_The cashier I told you about the other day. JW _ [sent at 11:50]

Did you go home with her? Is that why you were late? SH [sent at 11:55]

_Of course not. I've only just met her. JW _ [sent at 12:01]

I don't like her. SH [sent at 12:05]

_You haven't met her! JW _[sent at 12:07]

But I went through your texts with her. You were texting her very late last night, and you left your phone on the coffee table. SH [sent at 12:09]

_Sherlock! My phone is passcode protected, and you know that going through my texts was not okay. JW _ [sent at 12:13]

I think we've established that I have no problem with passcodes, and I already went through them, so there is no need for you to get mad. SH [sent at 12:16]

From what I have gathered, this 'Tracie' woman is not good for you. SH [sent at 12:17]

_And how would you know whether or not she's good for me? JW _[sent at 12:22]

I've made a list, I would be happy to show it to you when you get home from work. SH [sent at 12:24]

_I'd rather not. JW _[sent at 12:26]

Are you going out with her tonight? SH [sent at 12:28]

_Don't play dumb, Sherlock. If you went through our texts, you know we're going to get dinner tonight. JW _ [sent at 12:30]

I wanted to hear you say it. SH [sent at 12:35]

_Why? JW _ [sent at 12:37]

_Sherlock? JW _[sent at 12:45]

_Sherlock? JW _[sent at 12:50]

_Great, now you've got me doing it. JW _[sent at 12:54]

_I've got to stay an hour late, don't wait up. JW _ [sent at 17:30]

_Sherlock? JW _ [sent at 17:35]

_SHERLOCK. JW _ [sent at 17:40]

_Do you see how annoying it is? JW _[sent at 17:42]

_Because I see how annoying it is when you don't answer. JW _[sent at 17:45]

_Are you trying to prove a point or something? JW _ [sent at 17:50]

Don't you have to be working, John? Do stop texting me, and focus on whatever it is you do when you stay late. SH [sent at 17:52]

_Right. Sorry. JW _ [sent at 17:55]

Don't apologize to me. You're the one who should be working. SH [sent at 17:56]

I have an experiment to work on, anyways. SH [sent at 17:57]

I smashed my glass measuring cup. SH [sent at 18:10]

John, I need a new one. SH [sent at 18:12]

This is serious, John, you can stop whatever you are doing for this. SH [sent at 18:17]

The acid that was inside it is burning the table. SH [sent at 18:20]

I'll tell Mrs. Hudson it was your fault if you don't answer. SH [sent at 18:25]

_We both know she wouldn't believe that. JW _[sent at 18:30]

Is that why you answered? SH [sent at 18:32]

_No. Shut up. JW _[sent at 18:34]

_I'm going on my date with Tracie. Don't bother me. JW _ [sent at 19:24]

No promises. SH [sent at 19:25]

Bother. SH [sent at 20:20]

Bother. SH [sent at 20:21]

_That's not funny. JW _[sent at 20:25]

I thought it was. SH [sent at 20:27]

_I am in the middle of a date, stop texting me. JW _[sent at 20:29]

I still need a new measuring cup. SH [sent at 20:34]

John. SH [sent at 20:40]

John. SH [sent at 20:47]

JOHN. SH [sent at 19:56]

_Tracie is starting to question me on why my phone won't quit buzzing. Leave me alone. JW _ [sent at 21:01]

No. SH [sent at 21:02]

_Why the hell not? JW_ [sent at 21:04]

Because she is no good for you! SH [sent at 21:06]

_I don't see why you would think that. She is perfectly lovely. JW _[sent at 21:08]

_Glad you got the hint. JW _[sent at 21:20]

I still need a new measuring cup. SH [sent at 21:25]

* * *

**I have mixed feelings about this, but I wrote it to post it, so post it I shall.**

**I still like reviews (please).**


	4. December 20

**I learned a lesson yesterday: if you spend your entire afternoon writing fanfiction, you will not get your homework done, and you will regret that because you stay up until 1 am doing it (and not even finish).**

* * *

**December 20**

I didn't see you before you left for work today. SH [sent at 10:34]

Did I say something wrong? SH [sent at 10:36]

I'm still waiting on that measuring cup. SH [sent at 10:42]

I'll pay you back, I swear. SH [sent at 10:49]

John? SH [sent at 10:55]

I'm almost out of patches. This time it's because Mrs. Hudson found them while she was cleaning (are we sure she's not out housekeeper?), and 'confiscated' them. I had some hidden under my pillow, so the rush for a new package isn't terrible. SH [sent at 11:03]

But I need more soon. SH [sent at 11:05]

Did you throw out my bag of thumbs? SH [sent at 11:13]

And tell Molly not to give me any more? SH [sent at 11:20]

Maintaining a non-smoking problem in London is brutally difficult. Whenever a smoker walks past the flat, I can smell it and it almost sends me over edge. SH [sent at 12:03]

Where did you hide my cigarettes. SH [sent at 12:16]

John, I NEED one. SH [sent at 12:20]

Does Mrs. Hudson know? SH [sent at 12:25]

If she does, she isn't telling me, apparently. SH [sent at 12:36]

Under the skull, really John? That was your last hiding spot. SH [sent at 12:46]

Mrs. Hudson took my cigarette. SH [sent at 12:53]

John. SH [sent at 13:02]

John. SH [sent at 13:09]

John. SH [sent at 13:15]

JOHN. SH [sent at 13:20]

You're in luck, there is something worth watching on telly. Maybe I'll stop texting you for a bit. SH [sent at 13:26]

I was wrong, this is boring. SH [sent at 13:44]

I need a new case. SH [sent at 13:47]

Why won't Lestrade give me a new case? SH [sent at 13:51]

You went to a pub with him recently, did he say anything? SH [sent at 13:54]

Your phone's off, isn't it. SH [sent at 14:06]

That's it. Your phone's off. SH [sent at 14:09]

TURN YOUR PHONE ON. SH [sent at 14:11]

Please? SH [sent at 14:13]

Why am I being polite, you can't hear me. That's not how technology works. SH [sent at 14:14]

Yet. SH [sent at 14:14]

_Would you please just do an experiment or SOMETHING to distract yourself. I can't focus on my patients when my phone is buzzing every few minutes. JW _[sent at 14:16]

Oh, so your phone wasn't off? And you threw out my experiment! SH [sent at 14:18]

John? SH [sent at 14:22]

You'd better be glad you have unlimited text messages, I will not stop until I get a conversation out of you. SH [sent at 14:27]

John. SH [sent at 14:32]

Fine. SH [sent at 14:33]

_I'm off work, what do you need? JW [sent at 18:19]_

Are you seeing Tiffany tonight? SH [sent at 18:20]

_Okay, one, it's Tracie. Two, she asked me about you, and I explained, and she didn't call me after. JW [sent at 18:23]_

I told you she wasn't good for you. SH [sent at 18:25]

_It doesn't necessarily mean we are over. JW [sent at 18:27]_

You've known her for no more than a week, and were already referring to her as your girlfriend. SH [sent at 18:29]

_What's that got to with anything? JW [sent at 18:31]_

Nothing, really. I just wanted to point it out. SH [sent at 18:34]

_Yeah, fine. I'm going to the pub again tonight. JW [sent at 18:36]_

I don't want to go to the pub. SH [sent at 18:37]

_I wasn't inviting you. I'm going with Mike Stamford. JW [sent at 18:40]_

Why? SH [sent at 18:35]

_Because he's my mate. JW [sent at 18:36]_

I thought you said he was your friend. SH [sent at 18:37]

_They mean the same thing, how long have you lived in England? JW [sent at 18:38]_

The term "mate" isn't only used in England. It's used in Australia also, maybe even more often than here. SH [sent at 18:39]

_Never mind, Sherlock. JW [sent at 18:41]_

What? What did I do that time? SH [sent at 18:43]

_You talked. I'm regretting texting you. I'm going to the pub now. JW [sent at 18:45]_

I didn't talk, I texted. SH [sent at 18:46]

Have fun getting drunk with Stamford. SH [sent at 18:47]

Maybe next time I can join you... SH [message saved as draft][message deleted]

* * *

**In case you weren't paying attention, that last one said [message deleted]. Just in case. You probably noticed. But just in case. I'm going to stop typing now.**


	5. December 21

**Lesson still not learned. Still procrastinating. Help.**

* * *

**The morning of December 21**

Are you awake, John? SH [sent at 3:24]

_No. JW [sent at 3:27]_

Why do I find that hard to believe? SH [sent at 3:28]

_Sleeping. JW [sent at 3:30]_

Clearly not. SH [sent at 3:31]

_What do you want. JW [sent at 3:31]_

Tea. SH [sent at 3:32]

_You did not just wake me up to make you tea. JW [sent at 3:33]_

Is that bad? SH [sent at 3:33]

_Make your own damn tea. JW [sent at 3:34]_

I can't. SH [sent at 3:34]

_Sleeping. JW [sent at 3:35]_

I know you aren't. I need tea. SH [sent at 3:36]

_Are you going to die if I don't make you tea. JW [sent at 3:37]_

Don't be ridiculous, John, of course not. SH [sent at 3:37]

_Then I am going back to sleep. I have a hangover from last night at the pub. JW _[sent at 3:39]

I told you that you'd get drunk. Please, John? SH [sent at 3:40]

_Absolutely not. JW [sent at 3:40]_

Please? SH [sent at 3:40]

_For the love of God. JW [sent at 3:41]_

_Fine. JW [sent at 3:41]_

* * *

**Aw, look how cute this mini chapter is.**

**The next chapter will be a real one (promise), I just thought of this and needed to put in into words (I don't know why).**

**Reviews make me happy beyond belief.**


	6. December 21-24

**Happy Friday! I am excited to not do homework tonight.**

**This chapter is spread out through a few days and I don't know why. *shrugs***

* * *

**December 21 (part two)**

_Sherlock, I've just gotten a call from my parents, and apparently I am going to be spending Christmas at home. I'll come back to 221B to pack after work, but my flight is at 20:30. JW _[sent at 12:34]

Alright. SH [sent at 12:35]

_That's it? I thought you'd be mad I couldn't tell you sooner or something. JW_ [sent at 12:36]

No, your sister texted me. I was already informed you were leaving tonight. SH [sent at 12:37]

_You have Harry's number? JW _[sent at 12:37]

Of course I do. SH [sent at 12:37]

Her grammar is atrocious. SH [sent at 12:38]

_Maybe because she's drunk half the time. JW _[sent at 12:39]

Perhaps. SH [sent at 12:39]

_I'm sorry to leave you alone for Christmas. JW _[sent at 12:41]

I wasn't going to do anything for it anyway, except maybe have breakfast with Mrs. Hudson. SH [sent at 12:42]

_ That sounds nice, actually. Nothing is ever that calm at my parent's house. JW _[sent at 12:43]

Why is that? SH [sent at 12:43]

_For one, I can't seem to convince them we're not dating. Add that fight to Harry's drinking, and you have a very tense and very loud family dinner. JW_ [sent at 12:46]

I see. SH [sent at 12:46]

_'I see'? How come I'm the only one who ever seems to care when people think we're a couple? JW _[sent at 12:47]

_Sherlock? JW _[sent at 12:58]

_Sherlock? JW _[sent at 13:06]

* * *

**December 22**

_My flight was fine, thanks for asking. JW _[sent at 10:13]

I'm glad to hear it. SH [sent at 10:14]

Bored. SH [sent at 12:45]

_I am literally on the other side of the country, Sherlock, I can't help you. JW_ [sent at 12:46]

You can text me from the other side of the country. SH [sent at 12:46]

_I'm with my family. JW _[sent at 12:47]

So? SH [sent at 12:49]

_So, if I'm texting you for an extended period of time, they'll continue to think you're my boyfriend. JW _[sent at 12:51]

Why do you care so much? SH [sent at 12:52]

_Why don't you? JW _[sent at 12:54]

_Sherlock? JW _[sent at 13:14]

_I get it, this is what it feels like when I don't answer you. Lesson learned. Now, please answer me. JW [sent at 15:17]_

Honestly, John. You get busy with work, I get busy with experiments that need my full attention. SH [sent at 15:21]

_Right, of course. JW [sent at 15:24]_

_Good luck with that. JW [sent at 15:25]_

* * *

**December 23**

_So you're not going to spend Christmas with your parents or Mycroft or anyone? JW [sent at 18:23]_

I'm having breakfast with Mrs. Hudson. SH [sent at 18:24]

My parents invited me to join them and Mycroft to a musical I didn't bother to remember the name of, but I declined. SH [sent at 18:25]

_Why? JW [sent at 18:26]_

Because I don't have family values like you apparently do. SH [sent at 18:26]

John? SH [sent at 18:32]

_Well, how did you want me to respond to that? JW [sent at 18:34]_

Fine. SH [sent at 18:34]

_I smiled at my screen and my mum saw, stop texting me. JW [sent at 18:35]_

Why did you smile at your screen, I didn't saw anything amusing. SH [message deleted]

I wish you'd stop letting that get to you. SH [message deleted]

Okay. SH [sent at 18:27]

* * *

**December 24**

Lestrade's finally gotten me a case. SH [sent at 10:32]

John? SH [sent at 10:43]

I solved it. SH [sent at 13:06]

Lestrade said it was my Christmas gift. SH [sent at 13:06]

As if it could possibly pass off as a gift, it took me all of two hours to solve it. SH [sent at 13:06]

Are you doing family things? Is that why you aren't answering? SH [sent at 15:57]

John? SH [sent at 16:34]

_Happy Christmas Eve, Sherlock. JW [sent at 21:04]_

Christmas Eve is such a ridiculous thing to celebrate. It just gives people an excuse to another holiday. SH [sent at 21:06]

_Christmas Eve is when my family has Christmas dinner. JW [sent at 21:10]_

Why? SH [sent at 21:10]

_Ask the relatives that started the tradition. JW [sent at 21:11]_

Do you have their number? SH [sent at 21:11]

_I don't think my great-great-grandparents have a phone number. JW [sent at 21:11]_

Why not? SH [sent at 21:12]

_Because they both died in 1965. JW [sent at 21:13]_

I see. SH [sent at 21:13]

My condolences. SH [sent at 21:14]

* * *

**I think the next chapter will include their Christmas Day texts.**

**I still love reviews!**


	7. December 25

**I checked the follower count for this story, and I am quite surprised (and pleased) I have any at all.**

**I know I said in the description that this is texts between John and Sherlock, but I have a feeling others will come in. There will be a key if they do (yeah, I know Greg was already here, but he used John's phone so it doesn't count)(sorry, Greg).**

**Also, sometimes (a little more than just sometimes) I write [message deleted] instead of a time, and I don't think it's obvious, so, just, like, check the times and stuff.**

***stop boring them, Kira, and actually post the chapter***

* * *

**December 25 (Christmas Day)**

_Happy Christmas. JW [sent at 8:17]_

Happy Christmas, John. SH [sent at 8:18]

_I'll be on my flight back to London just after noon, apparently we will open presents and then leave. So, see you tonight. JW [sent at 10:02]_

Mrs. Hudson will be pleased. SH [sent at 10:02]

I think she has a gift for you. SH [sent at 10:03]

_Did she get you a present? JW [sent at 10:03]_

I haven't opened it yet. SH [sent at 10:03]

_And did you get her a gift? JW [sent at 10:04]_

I was hoping I could put my name on whatever you got her. SH [sent at 10:04]

_Of course you were. You're lucky that I actually got her something. JW [sent at 10:05]_

Do you need me to pick you up at the airport? SH [sent at 10:32]

_Are you actually offering to help me with something like this? JW [sent at 10:33]_

That is why I sent you that text, John. Try to keep up. SH [sent at 10:34]

_Never mind. Yes, I would appreciate it if you picked me up. I'll email you the flight details, yeah? JW [sent at 10:34]_

Alright. SH [sent at 10:34]

John. Bored. SH [sent at 13:47]

John. SH [sent at 13:49]

John. SH [sent at 13:52]

Oh, right. You're on a plane. Never mind, then. SH [sent at 14:01]

I need your plane to land now. I need to see you. SH [message deleted]

I was right, Mrs. Hudson was pleased to hear you were coming back. SH [sent at 14:32]

Bored. SH [sent at 14:35]

How long is this flight, this is ridiculous. SH [sent at 14:36]

I checked, you've only been in the air for and hour and a half. Sorry. SH [sent at 14:40]

Bored. SH [sent at 14:50]

Bored. SH [sent at 14:55]

_I've landed, you better be on your way to the airport. JW [sent at 20:01]_

Of course I am, John, I've been waiting to leave since you asked me to pick you up. SH [sent at 20:03]

_Jeez, Sherlock. Is that all you've done today, wait around to pick me up? JW [sent at 20:04]_

Yes. And I texted you. SH [sent at 20:04]

_Yes, and I saw them when I turned my phone back on. JW [sent at 20:06]_

Oh, right. SH [sent at 20:06]

I'm outside the airport, whenever you're ready. SH [sent at 20:07]

* * *

_Sherlock? JW [sent at 23:46]_

I thought you said you were going to bed. SH [sent at 23:46]

_I was, but I got distracted by the present that is sitting on my bed that says 'from Sherlock'. JW [sent at 23:47]_

Oh, right, that. SH [sent at 23:47]

_Did you actually get me a Christmas present? JW [sent at 23:47]_

Obviously. SH [sent at 23:48]

_Should I be worried about its contents? JW [sent at 23:49]_

Why would you be? SH [sent at 23:49]

_I don't know. I'll just open it, then. JW [sent at 23:49]_

It was my intention to have you open it. SH [sent at 23:50]

_Sherlock? JW [sent at 23:55]_

Still here, John. SH [sent at 23:55]

_This is amazing. JW [sent at 23:55]_

It's just a jumper. SH [sent at 23:55]

_But it's a Christmas jumper, with a snowman on the front and everything, which makes it amazing. JW [sent at 23:56]_

I still don't see why, but okay. SH [sent at 23:57]

_Happy Christmas, Sherlock. JW [sent at 23:59]_

Happy Christmas, John. SH [sent at 24:00]

* * *

**I meant to make it longer, but this chapter was exceedingly hard to write for some reason. I get a lot of my word count from the times, so do not be fooled.**

**You should see the goofy smile I have on when I see I have a new review, so continue leaving them, please!**


	8. December 27

**I'm legit terrified that this actually has any followers at all. Like, you guys are actually interested in this, and I don't know why.**

**Johnlock may or may not be starting...**

* * *

**December 27**

Did you actually wear that jumper to work? SH [sent at 12:32]

_Of course I did. JW_ [sent at 12:38]

Why? SH [sent at 12:38]

_Why don't you deduce it? JW _[sent at 12:38]

My attempts would be weak since I only have two texts to go off of. SH [sent at 12:39]

_With this one you have three. Just try. JW _[sent at 12:39]

Considering the only reason I know is that I went through your things and saw that the jumper was missing, and I found it hard to believe that you would get rid of it, and the fact that you left in a rush for work with your jacket zipped up all the way, you probably didn't want me to see you wearing it. Maybe you thought I would find it ridiculous that you were actually wearing it, which I'm going to say right now is true. You also waited five minutes to answer my question, and given the short length of the text and the speed you usually answer, I'm going to assume you didn't know I knew. But why wear it in the first place? This is the first Christmas gift I've gotten you since we met three years ago, so you're wearing it because of that reason? You seemed surprised that I got you a gift, which I'll admit is well reasoned. But you still could've just kept it in your closet and appreciated it, because it is actually a hideous jumper. You could've worn it to please me and show that you were thankful for it, but then why would you hide it under your jacket? SH [sent at 12:44]

I told you I wouldn't get anywhere with what I knew. SH [sent at 12:44]

_You went through my things?! JW_ [sent at 12:45]

I did say that. SH [sent at 12:45]

_Damnit, Sherlock, you have to stop that! JW _[sent at 12:45]

Why? SH [sent at 12:46]

_There are some things that I'd rather you didn't find. JW_ [sent at 12:46]

Would this framed picture of me be one of them? SH [sent at 12:47]

John? SH [sent at 12:53]

It was just under your bed, if you were trying to hide it, you didn't do a very good job. SH [sent at 12:56]

_That was Mrs. Hudson's gift to me. JW_ [sent at 12:59]

Why would she give you a picture of me for Christmas? SH [sent at 12:59]

_Well, what did she get you? JW _[sent at 13:00]

I haven't opened it. SH [sent at 13:00]

I opened it. It's a picture of you. I thought it was just a frame. SH [sent at 13:06]

_Even Mrs. Hudson thinks we're a couple. JW _[sent at 13:07]

How does pictures of us lead to her thinking we're a couple? SH [sent at 13:07]

Well, she's said it before, and why else would she get us those pictures? JW [sent at 13:08]

I asked her, you were right. SH [sent at 13:16]

How did I not see that? SH [sent at 13:16]

_You can't deduce everything. JW_ [sent at 13:17]

Says who? SH [sent at 13:18]

_Says the fact you didn't deduce that. JW_ [sent at 13:18]

Fine. SH [sent at 13:18]

* * *

Bored. SH [sent at 21:45]

_Do you realize that I am literally across the room from you? JW_ [sent at 21:45]

I do now. SH [sent at 21:45]

That doesn't stop me from being bored. SH [sent at 21:46]

_How about you actually say something out loud to me, instead of texting. JW_ [sent at 21:46]

But I prefer to text. SH [sent at 21:46]

_I've noticed. JW _[sent at 21:46]

Bored. SH [sent at 21:47]

You don't have to shout. SH [sent at 21:50]

Was that really necessary? SH [sent at 21:53]

* * *

**I said it may or may not be, and it's your choice to interpret this as Johnlock or not.**

**Do you like my sucky attempt at Sherlock's deducting?**

**Apple earphones hurt my ears, but alas, they are my only working ones, and I must listen to my music.**

**I'm running out of different ways to ask for reviews, so just, please. **


	9. December 31-January 2

No format change **= Sherlock. **_Italics _**= John. **Underlined **= Mycroft.**

**What do you guys think of some Mystrade later? I don't exactly ship it, but I have come to accept that where there is Johnlock, there will probably be mentions of Mystrade.**

**Another multi-day chapter!**

* * *

**December 31**

_The firework show is on telly, if you come out of your room. JW_ [sent at 23:34]

Are you saying that the fireworks show will not go on if I do not come out from my bedroom? SH [sent at 23:34]

_No, I meant that you might want to come out and watch them. JW_ [sent at 23:35]

I have no interest in colorful exploding gunpowder. SH [sent at 23:34]

_Fine, then, I'll watch them with Mrs. Hudson. JW _[sent at 23:35]

You do that. SH [sent at 23:35]

_Happy New Year, Sherlock. JW _[sent at 23:59]

Happy New Year, John. SH [sent at 23:59]

* * *

**January 1**

I was a little surprised you didn't have a date last night. SH [sent at 12:32]

_I thought it might've been Tracie, but apparently her family does stuff together on New Years. JW _[sent at 12:32]

Tracie? I thought you weren't seeing her anymore. SH [sent at 12:33]

_I didn't exactly think it was any of your business when she called. We've had a few lunch dates. JW _[sent at 12:34]

I text you during lunch. SH [sent at 12:34]

_And Tracie has come to accept that. JW _[sent at 12:34]

_Sherlock? JW _[sent at 12:46]

_Sherlock? JW _[sent at 12:53]

* * *

John asked me if I had wished you a Happy New Year, and when I said no, he insisted that I text you. SH [sent at 20:34]

Happy New Year. SH [sent at 20:34]

That was nice of John. Send him my best wishes. MH [sent at 20:35]

Do it yourself. SH [sent at 20:35]

Honestly, Sherlock. MH [sent at 20:36]

* * *

_Did Sherlock text you like I asked? JW _[sent at 20:54]

He did. Thank you, John, I didn't think that you would think to ask him to text me. He never does on occasions like this, even if I do. MH [sent at 20:55]

_Right, okay. JW _[sent at 20:55]

* * *

**January 2**

_Did you leave on a case? JW _[sent at 12:34]

Yes, Lestrade phoned me and asked me to come. SH [sent at 12:34]

_Why didn't you ask if I wanted to come? It's my day off, I didn't have anything to do. JW _[sent at 12:35]

It didn't cross my mind. SH [sent at 12:35]

_I find that slightly hard to believe, you always bring me, or at least ask me to come. JW _[sent at 12:36]

Well, I didn't this time. SH [sent at 12:36]

_Did I say something wrong? You're acting a little strangely. JW _[sent at 12:37]

Don't be ridiculous, John, of course not. And I thought I always acted strangely. I just thought it would be best if I went on this case alone. SH [sent at 12:39]

I needed to be undistracted. SH [sent at 12:39]

_I distract you? JW _[sent at 12:40]

_Sherlock? JW_ [sent at 12:50]

_Sherlock? JW_ [sent at 12:59]

* * *

**So, um, this chapter wasn't exactly humorous at all. I'll try again next chapter.**

**Mycroft has entered. I have never done anything to do with him in fanfics before, so sorry if it sucked.**

**Do I even have to ask you to review anymore.**


	10. January 3

**Ohmygosh 10th chapter go me and my followers. This is going uncomfortably fast. I first posted this like five days ago.**

**I thought I was going to post this yesterday but then tumblr. **

***clears throat awkwardly* please enjoy this chapter**

* * *

**January 3**

Do you have a lunch date with Tiffany today? SH [sent at 11:23]

_Again, it's Tracie, and yes. JW [sent at 11:24]  
_

_Why? JW [sent at 11:24]_

No reason. Have fun. SH [sent at 11:24]

_Thank you, I guess. JW [sent at 11:25]_

Are you coming right back to the flat after work? SH [sent at 11:25]

_I'm assuming so, why? JW [sent at 11:26]_

No reason. SH [sent at 11:26]

_You're asking some interesting questions for 'no reason'. JW [sent at 11:26]_

Am I? SH [sent at 11:27]

_You are. JW [sent at 11:27]_

Sorry. SH [sent at 11:27]

_Did you just apologize? JW [sent at 11:28]_

I've apologized before. SH [sent at 11:28]

_I never know if your being serious or not. JW [sent at 11:28]_

*You're. SH [sent at 11:29]

_Don't be a git. JW __[sent at 11:29]_

Sorry. SH [sent at 11:29]

_Again! Are you being serious or not? We should have a code word or something for when you're being serious. JW [sent at 11:30]_

How about 'sorry'. SH [sent at 11:30]

_You are impossible. JW [sent at 11:31]_

John. SH [sent at 13:43]

John. SH [sent at 13:49]

John. SH [sent at 13:52]

_Don't. JW [sent at 13:53]_

But I'm bored. SH [sent at 13:53]

_And I'm at work. JW [sent at 13:54]_

I know you're at work, I'm not daft. SH [sent at 13:56]

_You're daft enough to think it's okay to text me when I'm at work. JW [sent at 13:56]_

I know it's not okay, but that doesn't stop me from doing it. SH [sent at 13:56]

_Can't you just retreat into your mind palace or something? JW [sent at 13:57]_

I haven't got a case to think about. SH [sent at 13:57]

_Ask Lestrade for one, then. JW [sent at 13:57]_

If he had one, he would have already given it to me. SH [sent at 13:58]

_Not necessarily, I have a feeling he tries to go as long as he can on his own before calling you. JW [sent at 13:58]_

Why would he do that? SH [sent at 13:59]

_Because calling you makes it look like he can't do it. JW [sent at 13:59]  
_

He can't. SH [sent at 13:59]

_Exactly. JW [sent at 14:00]_

You were right, he did have something. SH [sent at 14:34]

_I told you. JW [sent at 14:35]_

Don't start. SH [sent at 14:35]

Never mind about getting back to the flat right after work, I'll be gone until at least 22:30. SH [sent at 14:35]

_Alright, I probably wasn't going to come right back anyway. JW [sent at 14:36]_

Are you going to ask me about the case? SH [sent at 14:36]

_Nope. JW [sent at 14:36]_

Fine. SH [sent at 14:36]

* * *

**If you have any ideas for Johnlock, I would be happy to steal them (maybe).**

**If you ever think the chapter is going to fast or doesn't make much sense, it's probably because I mostly get an idea, then mindlessly write stuff down and focus on Panic! at the Disco blasting through my earphones. *muttering lyrics***

**Reviewing is still nice and stuff...**


	11. January 4-5

**I had an idea and had to write it down as quickly as possible.**

**Gah, another multi-day chapter. How do these keep happening?**

* * *

**January 4**

Is this a Christmas gift on my bed, John? SH [sent at 23:55]

_That is where you left mine. Sorry it's a bit late. JW [sent at 23:55]_

_You probably know what it is just by calculating the volume and weight of the box or something, though. JW [sent at 23:56]_

True. But I wasn't going to tell you that. SH [sent at 23:56]

_Yeah, well, just open it. JW [sent at 23:56]_

I was wondering if I was ever going to get that new measuring cup. Thank you. SH [sent at 24:00]

_You're welcome. Now go to bed. JW [sent at 24:00]_

* * *

**January 5**

So, about John. MH [sent at 10:34]

What about him? SH [sent at 10:34]

You like him. MH [sent at 10:35]

Well of course I like him, Mycroft, we're friends. We live together. SH [sent at 10:35]

You like him as more than a friend. MH [sent at 10:36]

I have no memory of every telling you that. SH [sent at 10:41]

It's beyond obvious, Brother dear. MH [sent at 10:42]

I'm quite surprised John doesn't know. MH [sent at 10:42]

Not everyone has the great deduction skills that we have. SH [sent at 10:42]

'We'? I'm afraid I'd have to say that mine are considerably better than anything of yours. MH [sent at 10:43]

We both know that's not true. SH [sent at 10:44]

We both know it is. MH [sent at 10:44]

What do you want, Mycroft? SH [sent at 10:45]

I need you to admit that you like John as more than a friend. MH [sent at 10:45]

You sound like a teenage girl. Why? SH [sent at 10:45]

I need to know if I was correct. MH [sent at 10:45]

I am still failing to see why it is any of your business. SH [sent at 10:46]

Sherlock, really. Put yourself in my position. If you thought I liked someone as more than a friend, you would be all over me admitting it. MH [sent at 10:46]

I wouldn't. Because I already know that you've got someone. SH [sent at 10:47]

I think you might be mistaken. MH [sent at 10:52]

Oh, so Greg Lestrade doesn't mean anything to you? SH [sent at 10:52]

I believe we were talking about you and John. MH [sent at 10:59]

There's nothing to talk about. SH [sent at 11:00]

There is everything to talk about. I am sending a car, and you'd better get in this time. MH [sent at 11:00]

I'm not in the mood for quarreling, Mycroft. SH [sent at 11:01]

Too bad. MH [sent at 11:01]

Get in the car. MH [sent at 11:15]

* * *

**Tomorrow is Monday (do hear that faint weeping? That's me. Because Monday), so that means a chapter will not be put up as early as I had put them up this weekend.**

**I guess reviews are cool and stuff.**


	12. January 6

**I struggled through Monday, and then wrote a chapter. Be proud of me.**

**Be prepared for this chapter...many things you probably most likely saw coming are happening (okay, maybe only like one thing, but still)**

* * *

**January 6**

_So Mycroft called. JW [sent at 10:32]_

Did he? SH [sent at 10:33]

_He did. He said something about you. Well, more about you and me. JW [sent at 10:33]_

What did he say? SH [sent at 10:37]

_He said you're worried about me. Are you worried about me, Sherlock? JW [sent at 10:37]_

That is what he said. SH [sent at 10:40]

_Why're you worried about me? JW [sent at 10:40]_

It's Tracie. SH [sent at 10:44]

_Oh, this again? Sherlock, we've been over this. JW [sent at 10:44]_

You don't understand. Mycroft showed me some interesting security camera footage from the hospital cafeteria, apparently where you were having lunch with her. SH [sent at 10:44]

_I swear, Mycroft is basically Mr. The British Government. JW [sent at 10:45]_

_But what about our lunch date is interesting? Were we being too much of a couple for you? JW [sent at 10:45]_

No. Well, that too. But it's something else. SH [sent at 10:46]

_What? JW [sent at 10:49]_

You left her there to use the toilet at 12:36 on Wednesday afternoon, correct? SH [sent at 10:50]

_More or less, yeah. JW [sent at 10:52]_

You just left her there, all alone. SH [sent at 10:52]

_What of it? JW [sent at 10:52]_

You left your reasonably attractive girlfriend out all alone amongst your reasonably attractive male co-workers? SH [sent at 10:53]

_What're you trying to say, Sherlock? JW [sent at 10:53]_

I'm trying to say that in the time that it took you to use the bathroom, and I apologize for slowing you down with my texts, Tracie went and did rather unfaithful things with the gentleman at the next table over. SH [sent at 10:53]

John? SH [sent at 11:01]

_I don't believe you. JW [sent at 11:02]_

I still have the footage, if you'd like. SH [sent at 11:02]

_I still don't believe you. JW [sent at 11:03]_

I'm not sure why you would react so strongly, John. You've broken up with plenty of girlfriends, many of whom you quite frankly have dated for a while longer than this one. SH [sent at 11:05]

_I'm going to go to her flat and talk to her. I swear to god, Sherlock, if you text me, I will kill you. JW [sent at 11:07]_

I don't appreciate it when you use such brutal figures of speak, particularly given my past with things like that. SH [sent at 11:07]

_Damn it, Sherlock, just leave me alone for a bit. JW [sent at 11:07]_

I told you she was no good for you. SH [sent at 11:08]

* * *

_Well, I went to her flat! And guess what she said? JW [sent at 14:05]_

That it was true? SH [sent at 14:06]

_Not only that, but she gave me a reason. JW [sent at 14:06]_

And that reason would be? SH [sent at 14:07]

_That she doesn't want to steal me away from you. And that she was going to break it off anyways for that reason. JW [sent at 14:09]_

I see. SH [sent at 14:10]

Does that mean she thought we were... SH [sent at 14:12]

_Dating? Yes. JW [sent at 14:12]_

Why? SH [sent at 14:12]

_I don't know, but she seemed pretty damn sure about it. JW [sent at 14:13]_

And how I wish she was correct. SH [message deleted]

* * *

**You have no idea how long I've waited to call Mycroft 'Mr. The British Government'. No. Idea.**

**If you leave a review, I don't know what I'll do. I'll smile. If you ask a question I might answer it. That is all.**


	13. January 10

**I made a time leap thing so they skipped a day or two. I'm sure they texted. But probably just about milk and stuff.**

**Watch out for some [message deleted]s.**

* * *

**January 10**

John? SH [sent at 18:34]

_What? I'm just in my bedroom, you don't have to text me. JW [sent at 18:34]_

I prefer it. So, Tracie is gone, then? You aren't seeing her. SH [sent at 18:35]

_I've been saying that for the last three days, were you not paying attention? JW [sent at 18:35]_

I always pay attention. I just don't like to admit it. SH [message deleted]

I was not. SH [sent at 18:36]

_Well, then, yes. Tracie is gone now. JW [sent at 18:36]_

Good. SH [sent at 18:36]

_Good? JW [sent at 18:37]_

Yes, good. SH [sent at 18:37]

_I'm glad to know that you feel so sorry for me. JW [sent at 18:37]_

Why would I feel sorry for you? SH [sent at 18:38]

_I did just break up with my girlfriend. JW [sent at 18:38]_

And? SH [sent at 18:38]

_Never mind. Why did you need to ask? JW [sent at 18:38]_

Because I had a follow up question for if you confirmed you weren't together. SH [sent at 18:39]

_Which would be? JW [sent at 18:39]_

John, would you maybe like to go out with me at some point in the near future? SH [message deleted]

I have a case. Care to join? SH [sent at 18:42]

_Of course. Are you going to explain it to me? JW [sent at 18:42]_

Lestrade phoned me. A woman, Ms. Elizabeth Johnson, was supposed to turn in the rent for her flat a half week ago, and when her landlord came up to retrieve it, he was apparently 'greeted to a rancid smell coming from the bedroom'. When he went to investigate, he found a body on the bed. Stabbed twice in the head-one wound on each side of the skull-, once in the chest. SH [sent at 18:47]

_Ms. Johnson's? JW [sent at 18:48]_

That's the thing. A man whom the landlord has never seen before, and Ms. Johnson was not in the flat. Apparently, Ms. Johnson and this landlord were quite good friends, they had tea every Tuesday. He was quite sure that she had mentioned all her other friends, and this man did not fit the description of any of them. Ms. Johnson's flat has been searched, and nothing seems out of place besides the obvious body rotting in her bedroom. SH [sent at 18:50]

_Anything peculiar about the body? JW [sent at 18:51]_

Minus the stab wounds, no, not exactly. The sheets it's on are not blood stained at all, which means the killer must've changed them after he killed the man. SH [sent at 18:52]

_He? Are you sure it wasn't Ms. Johnson? JW [sent at 18:53]_

I took that into consideration, yes. That's what Scotland Yard thinks. But obviously not. Lestrade wants me to take a look. SH [sent at 18:53]

_Alright, give me a minute to get ready, and I'll meet you downstairs. JW [sent at 18:54]_

Take your time. SH [sent at 18:54]

But be quick. SH [sent at 18:54]

* * *

**Free virtual high fives to anyone who leaves a review. I'll give it to you in advance. *high fives people who leave reviews* You know what, take it even if you don't leave a review. *high fives EVERYONE***


	14. January 12-13

**I couldn't think of anything good, but I wanted a chapter put up today, so I made a filler. This is literally nothing important, just me probably trying too hard to be slightly humorous.**

**This is painfully short, but it's something.**

* * *

**January 12**

_Sherlock! Stop shooting the wall, I can't sleep! JW [sent at 23:32]  
_

I'm bored. SH [sent at 23:34]

_You're always bored. Go to bed. JW [sent at 23:34]_

Not tired. SH [sent at 23:35]

_Then do an experiment. JW [sent at 23:35]_

_A silent experiment. JW [sent at 23:35]_

Oh? And what do you suggest? SH [sent at 23:36]

_I don't know. Drink eight glasses of water and see how long it takes you to go to sleep. JW [sent at 23:37]_

That's ridiculous. SH [sent at 23:37]

Yet intriguing. SH [sent at 23:37]

But what about the other variables that would get in the way? Such as how full my stomach is before drinking the water, or whether or not my hair is clean. There's too many. SH [sent at 23:38]

_Make it extended experiment and change something each night, then. JW [sent at 23:38]_

_I don't care. JW [sent at 23:38]_

I have an empty stomach already, I can start with that. SH [sent at 23:39]

Goodnight, John. SH [sent at 23:39]

I'll tell you the results in the morning. SH [sent at 23:39]

_Bloody hell, Sherlock, have you eaten anything today? JW [sent at 23:40]_

No. Does it matter? SH [sent at 23:40]

_I won't try to convince you, you're not going to give in. Goodnight. JW [sent at 23:40] _

Goodnight. SH [sent at 23:41]

* * *

**January 13**

_There is another. Bloody. Head. In. The. Fridge. JW [sent at 10:34]_

Yes, excellent deducting, John. SH [sent at 10:35]

_Get it out! JW [sent at 10:35]_

Where else I am I going to put it? SH [sent at 10:35]

_How about Barts?! JW [sent at 10:36]_

That's where I got it, why would I give it back? I'm not yet finished with it. SH [sent at 10:37]

_GET THE BLOODY HEAD OUT OF THE FRIDGE. JW [sent at 10:37]_

Not when you shout. SH [sent at 10:38]

_Sherlock! JW [sent at 10:38]_

Fine. But can I keep the tongues? SH [sent at 10:39]

_If it means you'll get rid of the head, yes. JW [sent at 10:39]_

Fine. SH [sent at 10:40]

_Thank you. JW [sent at 10:40]_

His name was Leonard, by the way. SH [sent at 10:41]

_Okay, get Leonard's head out of the fridge, please. Now. JW [sent at 10:41]_

Show some respect, John. He died just three days ago. SH [sent at 10:42]

_Now. JW [sent at 10:42__]_

* * *

**What even is this chapter I don't know.**


	15. January 15

**Somebody wanted to know Leonard the Head's story, and who am I to refuse?**

**Leonard Walker was 68 years, 11 months, 2 weeks, and 3 days old when he dropped dead from a very sudden heart attack in his living room. It was three days before his housekeeper came to work and found him on the floor, with the television still on. He had worked at Bart's before he retired, and had already put in his will that he would like to have his body donated to this place, since he spent so much of his adult life there. At Sherlock's request, Molly decapitated him , and Sherlock picked up his head, leaving the rest of the body to whatever another scientist might need it for. Sherlock was going to test the various points on the face and neck where bruises formed the most quickly, and the darkest. He was just curious. John made him give it back to Molly before he could finish.**

***shrug***

**Happy? Now for the chapter (another filler. I swear, I'll come up with something good for a real chapter soon).**

_Italics underlined_ **= Lestrade (or Greg, which ever you prefer)**

* * *

**January 15**

Mycroft has some interesting news. SH [sent at 12:34]

_Oh? JW [sent at 12:35]  
_

He and Lestrade have...'taken their relationship to the next level', as he put it. SH [sent at 12:35]

_Yeah, Greg said they were something of an item. JW [sent at 12:35]_

Well, Greg is moving into Mycroft's flat. SH [sent at 12:36]

_That's lovely. Congratulate Mycroft for me. JW [sent at 12:36]_

It's not lovely. SH [sent at 12:36]

_I was trying to be decent. You could try it some time. JW [sent at 12:37]_

Unlikely. SH [sent at 12:37]

_My lunch break is over. Go ask Lestrade for a small case or something, while you figure out that other one. JW [sent at 12:37]_

_No, wait, sorry. You probably don't want to talk to him. JW [sent at 12:37]_

It's more Mycroft than him. SH [sent at 12:38]

But, no. I don't. I'll go to Bart's. SH [sent at 12:38]

And I've already solved that larger one. Didn't I tell you? It was the landlord. Obvious. SH [sent at 12:38]

_Bloody hell, he seemed like such a nice bloke. JW [sent at 12:39]_

Obviously not. SH [sent at 12:39]

_Yeah, well, that's nice. That you solved it, I mean. Don't text me now. JW [sent at 12:39]_

You know I can't promise that. SH [sent at 12:40]

_I know. JW [sent at 12:40]_

* * *

_Congratulations, Greg. Sherlock told me. JW [sent at 12:42]__  
_

_We agreed on it less than twenty minutes ago. I'm still yet to get used to these bloody Holmes brothers knowing everything. GL__[sent at 12:43]_

_I've lived with one for a while. You'll get used to it. JW [sent at 12:43]_

_Although I'd expect that you're relationship is going to be quite different than mine... JW [sent at 12:43]_

_Heh, yeah. Of course. Mycroft's calling me, I'll see you later, yeah? GL__[sent at 12:44]_

_Yeah. Maybe you could get Sherlock a case, he's been far too bored lately. JW [sent at 12:44]_

_I've just given him a case! The one with the flat and the clean bedsheets!__ GL __[sent at 12:45]_

_He's solved it. JW [sent at 12:45]_

_That man...he needs to tell me when he solves my cases. GL__[sent at 12:46]_

_Okay, fine. But I really do have to be off. GL__[sent at 12:46]_

_Fine. Okay. Have fun with Mycroft. JW [sent at 12:47]_

_Don't say it like that! GL__[sent at 12:47]_

_But I will. GL__[sent at 12:48]_

* * *

**Greg knows something...**

**Seriously, review. Seriously. (I'm serious)(Sirius)(Sirius Black)**


	16. January 20

**ohmygosh Friday. how excited am I? hella**

**As I was writing this, I thought "They're gonna hate me, I'm giving them another meaningless chapter, gah, what am I doing with this" but then I thought of something and I went with it, and now it isn't completely meaningless. Something important may or may not happen.**

**Also, I know the description specifically says "texts", but I couldn't help myself. You'll see. **

* * *

**January 20**

Nicotine patches. SH [sent at 10:32]

_What about them? JW [sent at 10:33]_

I need more. SH [sent at 10:33]

_Why? JW [sent at 10:33]_

You know why. Just get me some. SH [sent at 10:34]

Please. SH [sent at 10:34]

_I wasn't going to, but then you said please. Fine. JW [sent at 10:35]_

Thank you. SH [sent at 10:35]

* * *

John, a slight problem has arisen. SH [sent at 14:32]

_How slight? JW [sent at 14:33]_

There is a dead man on our door step. SH [sent at 14:34]

_You didn't kill him, did you? JW [sent at 14:36]_

Of course not, John. The doorbell rang, and neither you nor Mrs. Hudson were here to get it, so I went down myself, and when I opened it, he was here. SH [sent at 14:37]

_You're sure he's dead? JW [sent at 14:37]_

I know what a dead man looks like. SH [sent at 14:37]

Yes, he is dead. SH [sent at 14:40]

_Don't touch him, then. Call Lestrade or something, I can't exactly help from the market. JW [sent at 14:41]_

Lestrade is on his way. SH [sent at 14:45]

You're being calm about this. I would've expected you to call me, or say you were coming back. SH [sent at 14:45]

_I've learned better. Much worse things happen in our flat than a mysterious dead man on our doorstep. JW [sent at 14:46]_

_Now that I say that, yes, this is very bad. I'll be right over. JW [sent at 14:47]_

Don't rush, I still need my nicotine patches. SH [sent at 14:48]

But be quick all the same. SH [sent at 14:48]

* * *

It seems I was mistaken, John. You might have to come back. SH [sent at 21:23]

_Don't talk to me, Sherlock. Lying about the existence of dead bodies on the doormat isn't nice. JW [sent at 21:25]_

I wasn't lying, there was a body there. I left to get something from the flat, and when I came back down, the body was gone. I assumed it was just a sick joke, and someone took it back. SH [sent at 21:56]

_And why are you telling me this? I'm the pub, I don't want to text you. JW [sent at 21:57]_

I'm telling you this because I might be in a considerable amount of danger. SH [sent at 21:27]

_What do you mean? JW [sent at 21:28]_

That body wasn't...dead. SH [sent at 21:29]

**[incoming call from: John Watson]**

[**call denied]**

_If you're not going to pick up, you'd better have a good explanation. JW [sent at 21:34]_

Ever heard of Sebastian Moran, John? SH [sent at 21:35]

_Should I have? Is he the dead body? JW [sent at 21:36]_

I already said, he's not dead. But yes. He's in the flat, I can't call you, he'll hear. SH [sent at 21:38]

**[incoming call from: John Watson]**

**[call accepted]**

"John! I said I couldn't pick up!"

_"Then why did you?"_

"Shut up. Just get back here, I have honestly no idea what to do."

_"That's new. You not having any ideas."_

"..."

_"Sherlock?"_

"Shh!"

_"...what is it?"_

"Shh!"

_"Sherlock!"_

"Goddammit, John, shut up!"

_"Who's Sebastian Moran? What's going on?"_

"John, I-"

_"Sherlock?"_

**[call disconnected]**

* * *

***shrug***

**It was getting boring. I promise it won't take long to solve this...issue. I haven't worked out the details, but I've figured out the gist of it.**

**I always love it when a review is left. (thank you, themagicianthatmagicsthings, you really like to review. I can tell)**


	17. January 21

**This was unreasonably hard to write, I couldn't think of anything. I apologize if it is not exactly...good.**

**Just so you are aware, this is happening at like 1 in the morning, so only a few hours after last chapter's incident-phone-call-thingy (also, John's in the flat now, in case you get confused)**

**30+ followers? I love you all.**

* * *

**January 21**

_Sherlock, are you alright? JW [sent at 1:12]_

_Sherlock? JW [sent at 1:15]_

_Where are you? JW [sent at 1:20]_

_Can you not hear me calling? JW [sent at 1:24]_

_SHERLOCK. JW [sent at 1:25]_

Oh, give it a rest, Doctor Watson. I'm assuming he'll be fine, but don't get your hopes up. [sent at 1:26]

_Sherlock? JW [sent at 1:27]_

_Who is this? JW [sent at 1:27]_

_Why have you got Sherlock's phone? JW [sent at 1:27]_

I think we can make this a game. I've been bored for three years. [sent at 1:28]

_Who is this? Where's Sherlock? JW [sent at 1:28]_

**[incoming call from: John Watson]**

**[call denied]**

Tsk tsk, John. You should know better. [sent at 1:30]

_What do you mean? Who is this? JW [message failure]_

_Where is he? JW [message failure]_

**The number you are trying to message has been disconnected. Try again later. **[received at 1:23]

_You bastard. JW [message failure]_

* * *

_Something's happened to Sherlock. JW [sent at 1:36]_

I am aware, John. You forget that I have cameras all around your flat. MH [sent at 1:37]

_So you know who has him! JW [sent at 1:37]_

I'm afraid not. The cameras were disconnected. MH [sent at 1:38]

_Then how do you know something's happened? JW [sent at 1:39]_

Even Sherlock doesn't know where they are. Some one else disconnected them. MH [sent at 1:39]

Rest assured, John, I already have men looking for him. MH [sent at 1:39]

_They're not looking fast enough! Something could've happened by now! JW [sent at 1:40]_

If someone's got Sherlock, I'm assuming they would have to be quite good at their job. It will take at least a few hours for us to find him. MH [sent at 1:41]

_It better bloody well not. JW [sent at 1:42]_

Language, John. MH [sent at 1:42]

_Just find him. JW [sent at 1:43]_

We're trying our best. MH [sent at 1:44]

And that's better than anything you could do. MH [sent at 1:44]

_Don't remind me. JW [sent at 1:45]_

* * *

**Sorry for this short spat of a chapter. **

**I think the next chapter will be a continuation of this day (January 21)**

**Do I even have to remind you that I like reviews?**


	18. January 21 (part two)

**To: the Guest who said, "WHAT'S GOING ON" - I don't know. I wish I knew. But I don't.**

**This is officially beginning to have one or two or more tiny series 3 spoilers (not really at all)**

**Okay, ahem, back to story.**

* * *

**January 21 (again)**

_Sherlock? JW [message failure]_

_Please. JW [message failure]_

**The number you are trying to message has been disconnected. Try again later. **[received at 6:23]

_IT IS SEVERAL HOURS LATER AND THIS WAS MY ONLY WAY OF CONTACTING HIM. FIGURE IT OUT. JW [message failure]_

* * *

_Sherlock? JW [message failure]_

**The number you are trying to message has been disconnected. Try again later. **[received at 8:24]**  
**

_God damnit. JW [message failure]_

* * *

_Please tell me you've got something. JW [sent at 10:56]  
_

I've got something. MH _[sent at 10:57]_

_Wait, seriously? JW __[sent at 10:58]_

No, not seriously. I was just doing as you asked. MH _[sent at 10:58]_

_Why are you Holmes such gits. JW __[sent at 10:58]_

It's in our DNA. MH _[sent at 10:59]_

Oh, apparently I have got something now. MH _[sent at 11:03]_

_And you're serious this time? JW __[sent at 11:03]_

That joke was a one time thing, Doctor Watson. I've tracked down a mobile phone number that might lead to Sherlock. MH _[sent at 11:03]_

_Well, what is it? JW __[sent at 11:04]_

I am certainly not going to tell you. I can handle this. MH _[sent at 11:04]_

_I'm sure you can. Just tell me the number. JW __[sent at 11:04]_

Absolutely not. Not until I have one of my men test it and make sure. MH _[sent at 11:05]_

_Make sure of what? JW __[sent at 11:05]_

I've just now realized that I haven't told you we might know who it is. MH _[sent at 11:05]_

_You haven't. Who is it? JW __[sent at 11:05]_

We have reason to believe it might be Moriarty and his men, or at least one of his snipers. MH _[sent at 11:06]_

_This sniper wouldn't happen to be named Sebastian Moran, would he? JW __[sent at 11:06]_

I'm assuming Sherlock told you that name before this whole mess happened? MH _[sent at 11:06]_

_Yes. JW __[sent at 11:07]_

Then, yes. It is most likely Sebastian Moran. MH _[sent at 11:07]_

_That would explain the texts I got from Sherlock's mobile. JW __[sent at 11:08]_

What texts? Would you be willing to forward them to me? MH _[sent at 11:08]_

_FWD: Oh, give it a rest, Doctor Watson. I'm sure he'll be fine, but don't get your hopes up. __[sent at 11:09]_

Is that all? MH _[sent at 11:09]_

_No, give me a moment. JW __[sent at 11:10]_

_FWD: I think we can make this a game. I've been bored for three years. __[sent at 11:10]_

_The he told me off for calling him. JW __[sent at 11:11]_

And the number was disconnected after this? MH _[sent at 11:12]_

_Yes. It makes sense, though. Moriarty's dead, isn't he? Maybe Moran wants to get back at Sherlock, he said he's been bored for three years, and that's around when Moriarty shot himself on Bart's roof. JW __[sent at 11:12]_

To be honest, John, we are not one hundred percent sure that Jim Moriarty is dead. MH _[sent at 11:13]_

_Excuse me? JW __[sent at 11:13]_

I believe I was fairly clear. MH _[sent at 11:14]_

_That doesn't exactly mean that I can comprehend what you just said to me. JW __[sent at 11:14]_

We have evidence to believe that Moriarty did not die on that rooftop. MH _[sent at 11:15]_

_Evidence? Such as? JW __[sent at 11:15]_

There wasn't a body. MH _[sent at 11:16]_

_Oh my God. JW __[sent at 11:16]_

_This is a lot worse than it first looked like. JW __[sent at 11:16]_

_And it looked pretty bad to start with. JW __[sent at 11:17]_

* * *

**What am I doing to this story.**

**If you understand that sweetie reference thing in the top A/N, you're pretty amazing (even if it is pretty obvious)**


	19. January 23

**I'm sorry for not updating yesterday, life happened (homework, my music lessons, a project I forgot about, etc)**

**The format is extra super weird on this one. I'll have an explanation in the end A/N, with some context as to what's happening in case you weren't following along (which I would totally understand)**

**WHERE DID THIS COME FROM? IT'S AWFUL. I PROMISE I'LL GET BACK TO REAL CHAPTERS IN A BIT, I'M SORRY. DON'T LEAVE OR ANYTHING, PLEASE.**

**Ahem, you can read this horrible chapter now, sorry.**

* * *

**January 23**

_Anything? JW [sent at 12:12]_

I'm afraid not. The number we thought would lead us to Sherlock wasn't a working one. I'm sorry. MH [sent at 12:14]

_It's not your fault. JW [sent at 12:15]_

I am aware it's not. MH [sent at 12:15]

* * *

Doctor Watson, I see you have been trying your hardest to help find your friend. It's adorable. [sent at 18:34]

I mean, how many friends would take time off work just because their flatmate is missing? You are very loyal. [sent at 18:35]

I said I'd make this a game, and a game it shall be. I think Sherly's had enough of me now, why don't you come find him? [sent at 18:36]

Bart's Hospital seems like a nice place to play our game, don't you think? I've had enough of the rooftop though, I think you can imagine why. The morgue seems like a much nicer place to be at the moment, and Molly Hooper was so kind as to let us borrow it. [sent at 18:37]

I'll give you half an hour. Come alone. [sent at 18:38]

_You bastard. JW [sent at 18:40]_

That's not very nice, John! Sherlock didn't appreciate that, he already had some nasty scars before you sent that. [sent at 18:44]

You'd better hurry. [sent at 18:44]

* * *

Nice of you to join us, Doctor! [sent at 19:04]

Yes, of course it's me, didn't you listen to Mycroft? [sent at 19:05]

Texting seems like more fun. I know Sherlock prefers it. Why don't you try? [sent at 19:05]

No? Maybe Sherlock would like you to... [sent at 19:06]

_What is this, Jim? [sent at 19:06]_

Oh! Jim! I like that, nobody ever seems to want to be casual with me like you, apparently. And in too much of a rush to sign off? Shame, I've always thought your JW was very cute. [sent at 19:07]

_What do you want! [sent at 19:07]_

I'm bored! I'm sure Sherlock can understand that, can't he? Well, I can assure you neither of us have been bored for the past couple of days. [sent at 19:08]

_What have you done! [sent at 19:10]_

Sherlock wasn't kidding, you are a slow texter, aren't you? I think you can see the damage I have done, at least the physical. [sent at 19:10]

Nothing to say to that? That's really too bad. If you'll look behind you, you'll see my Sebastian. He certainly has been a great help with this whole game, he's so sweet. Go on, turn around and wave! [sent at 19:12]

That's it. Now, see that gun he's holding? Can you figure out what will happen if you don't answer me, Doctor Watson? [sent at 19:13]

_Yes. [sent at 19:13]_

Good! But with the end bit, too. If you don't mind. [sent at 19:14]

_Fine. JW [sent at 19:14]_

You are a wonderful sport! Now, I can't just give him back to you, that would be too easy. [sent at 19:14]

_What, then? JW [sent at 19:15]_

I haven't really figured that part out yet, unfortunately. [sent at 19:15]

Why don't you stop mouthing to Sherlock, hm? I can see you doing that. [sent at 19:15]

_Sorry. JW [sent at 19:16]_

You're sorry? That's not a good answer at all, is it? I think Sherlock will look nice with another mark on his pretty skin... [sent at 19:16]

_You bastard. JW [sent at 19:17]_

Again with the name calling! I don't like, that, Johnny. [sent at 19:17]

_What do you want! JW [sent at 19:18]_

I'd certainly like to have a few of Mycroft's passwords and such. That seems like it could be a fair trade. [sent at 19:18]

_What do you want with those? JW [sent at 19:19]_

Well, as you so nicely put it once in a text to our dear Sherlock, he is "Mr. The British Government". [sent at 19:20]

_You saw our texts? JW [sent at 19:20]_

Of course I did, Johnny! I couldn't resist. But about the passwords... [sent at 19:21]

_I haven't got them. JW [sent at 19:21]_

You haven't? That's really too bad! I guess this whole thing was a waste for you both, unless you can think of a way to get them... [sent at 19:22]

_Fine. Fine. I'll phone Mycroft. JW [sent at 19:22]_

That seems like a wonderful idea! [sent at 19:23]

Feel free to mention me, I don't mind. [sent at 19:23]

**[Outgoing call to: Mycroft Holmes]**

**[call accepted]**

"John? Have you got Sherlock?"

_"That's, uh, why I was calling."_

"What do you mean?"

_"I'm, uh, actually in the room with Moriarty. He's got Sherlock. I can see him."_

"Why're you calling, John."

_"Moriarty -Jim, rather- would like some of your passwords in exchange for Sherlock, I guess."_

"You guess?"

_"Well, no, that's what he said."_

"..."

_"Mycroft?"_

"..."

_"We've got to do it, Mycroft, he's your brother."_

"I know. Pass the phone to Jim."

* * *

"Mycroft! Nice to speak to you."

"..."

"Yes, I think those ones will do."

"..."

"I completely understand."

"..."

"Yes, hold on a second -Seb, have you got a pen? May I borrow it? Thank you, dear- go on."

"..."

"Interesting choice -John, stop mouthing to Sherlock, it's distracting- sorry, continue?"

"..."

"Alright, yes. Thank you for being so cooperative, Mycroft, dear!"

"..."

"Yes, yes, I will. I think John and Sherlock are just about ready to pounce on each other, they can't go long without seeing one another, can they?"

"..."

"Bye, dear..."

**[Call disconnected]**

* * *

**Okay, that was terrible and I'm sorry.**

**If you understood, good for you, you don't have to read the following:**

**(I will refer to Moriarty as both Moriarty and Jim. Try not to get confused.)**

**So, John texted Mycroft at the top, yes? Yes. He got a text from an unknown number a few hours later, and I think you can tell it was Moriarty. John goes to the morgue at St. Bart's, and Moriarty is there waiting with Sherlock tied to a chair, shirtless. He is covered in scars from several different knives, and seems to look calm. Jim sends John his first text of their conversation there, and John verbally answers with, "You?" and then, "Why are you texting?". Jim suggests that John do it, too, and when John refuses he put a knife up to Sherlock. John gives in and texts the number he had been receiving the other texts from. When John doesn't answer at some point, Jim instructs that he turn around to see Sebastian Moran standing in the doorway with a gun. And, of course, John gives in (again). John tries mouthing to Sherlock a few times, and Jim notices. John calls Jim a name, Jim gets mad and puts the knife to Sherlock again, etc. **

**Now, Jim and Mycroft's half of the phone call. John hands the phone to Moriarty, and you only see said psychopath talking. Mycroft is talking on the other end, which is just me covering up my laziness. When Jim says "Yes, hold on a second -Seb, have you got a pen? May I borrow it? Thank you dear- go on." he was talking to Mycroft, and then Sebastian. Just to be clear. He's covering the speaker with his palm when talking to Sebastian.**

**Ah, okay. This chapter is done. Whew. That was hard, and probably not worth it. I've never wrote anything like this before, and it was probably terrible.**


	20. January 31

**Wow chapter 20. I remember when I was excited about chapter 5... **

**Sherlock got a new phone, okay? Okay.**

**This chapter is very short (forgive me) but I swear, stuff happens.**

* * *

**January 31**

**[incoming call from: John Watson]**

**[call accepted]**

"John."

_"Sherlock, hi."_

"I'm at a crime scene, is this important?"

_"It is very important. I haven't seen or spoken you since...the night with Moriarty last week."_

"I am aware of this."

_"We need to talk."_

"About?"

_"Your...my...our actions."_

"I'm not quite sure what you mean, John."

_"You know exactly what I mean, you git."_

"I assumed I was supposed to just pretend it didn't happen, and stay away for a bit."

_"Have you even been sleeping at the flat?"_

"I haven't been sleeping at all."

_"You haven't been - never mind, we'll talk about that later. We need to talk about...the other thing that happened."_

"..."

_"..."_

"Why are you saying it like that?"

_"Like what?"_

"You're hesitating before saying what happened, and then not actually saying it."

_"With the way you ran off, I thought you didn't want to talk about it!"_

"I thought you didn't want to talk about it!"

_"Obviously I do now, Sherlock."_

"Then go on with it! Just say what happened!"

_"..."_

"Well?"

_"..."_

"Come on, John, it really isn't that bad of a thing to say."

_"...you kissed me."_

"..."

_"Sherlock?"_

"I'm sorry. It was a bad idea. I apologize for making you uncomfortable like that."

_"Sherlock, it's not like that, I-"_

**[call disconnected]**

_Did you just hang up on me? JW [sent at 20:22]_

_That was the really important bit I was getting to! JW [sent at 20:22]_

John, I understand. It was the wrong thing for me to do, and you have made it quite clear you are not interested in men. SH [sent at 20:23]

Please, just, stop texting me now. SH [sent at 20:23]

_But you didn't even let me finish! JW [sent at 20:24]_

I said stop! SH [sent at 20:24]

_Sherlock, no. JW [sent at 20:25]_

_Sherlock? JW [sent at 20:30]_

_Your phone's off isn't it? JW [sent at 20:34]_

_Goddamnit. JW [sent at 20:36]_

* * *

**Eh? Eh? Ehhh?**

**Romantic awkwardness is kind of a speciality of mine, having no real-life experience with it myself. Expect it. Embrace it. Have awkward conversations about feelings with it. (what)**

**A review would be lovely, thanks.**


	21. February 1

**I can't even begin to explain to you how much I hate myself for ending the last chapter the way it did, because I realized I was not prepared for this chapter.**

**In short, this chapter sucks and was hard to write. The phone calls just keep getting longer and longer, I hope no one minds.**

**You can ignore the long A/N at the bottom, if you like, I'm just rambling.**

* * *

**February 1**

_Sherlock, please. Just answer me. JW [sent at 10:31]  
_

_Come on, I don't exactly want to say what I have to say when your mobile's off. JW __[sent at 10:37]_

_Is it off? I realize I shouldn't just assume things like that. JW __[sent at 10:38]_

_It wasn't that big of a deal, really. JW __[sent at 10:41]_

What wasn't. SH [sent at 10:42]

_Oh, so you're alive, then? Nice of you to answer me. JW __[sent at 10:43]_

What wasn't a big deal. SH [sent at 10:43]

_I think you know what. JW __[sent at 10:44]_

_Did you even realize that I was not the one who pulled away? JW __[sent at 10:44]_

_Sherlock? JW __[sent at 10:46]_

**[outgoing call to: John Watson]**

**[call accepted]**

"Really?"

_"Really what?"_

"You know what really. I thought you were hideously disgusted with me."

_"You are such an idiot. Why would I be texting you, begging for you to answer, if I was 'hideously disgusted with you'?"_

"...so you're not?"

_"Nope."_

"Then what are you?"

_"To be honest, fairly relieved. At least I was, until you pulled away and ran. Then I was worried and considerably sad."_

"Why would you be relieved?"

_"You're just going to ignore the worried and sad bit? Okay, fine. Mycroft told Greg one night about your...feelings, and I may or may not have accidentally gotten Greg hammered at the pub one night, where it may or may not have slipped out."_

"..."

_"Are you there?"_

"Mycroft told Greg, and Greg told you."

_"Yes."_

"We really are just a group of teenage girls sometimes."

_"Ha, I guess we are."_

"How long?"

_"How long what?"_

"How long have you known?"

_"Really not all that long. And I mean that. Nearly a week before you acted on it."_

"I'm still confused."

_"About?"_

"Your feelings in all this."

_"That's a little complicated."_

"Meaning?"

_"Meaning, I am still not gay, but I like the idea of a relationship with you."_

"So, you're saying your not attracted to me...in _that_ way, but-"

_"But more like in a romantic way. I also happen to know, thanks to Mycroft, that you are asexual, aren't you?"_

"...maybe."

_"But you still kissed me."_

"I did."

_"You know something that I noticed? It wasn't at all sexual or anything. It was something like a purely romantic thing."_

"That sounded quite corny."

_"I know. How else was I supposed to say it?"_

"Good question, John."

_"..."_

"..."

_"Sherlock?"_

"Still here."

_"Do you have any interest in a relationship?"_

"With you?"

_"Yes, with me, you git."_

"Yes."

_"Then I think we can work something out."_

* * *

***deep breath***

**I have always thought that if John and Sherlock were _actually_ in a relationship, it wouldn't be anything like most of the fics out there. Where John finds himself staring at Sherlock and thinking, "Woah, I just realized that I am actually gay and must have sex with Sherlock now." or "I am either gay or bisexual or something because I am suddenly very attracted to my flatmate." No. No, not at all (okay, maybe a little)(but that's not the point). I believe John when he says he's not gay (sort of), but that can't stop him from loving Sherlock. I am also pretty sure, like probably a lot of other people, that Sherlock is asexual. Same thing though, that doesn't mean he can't love John. You don't need to have sex or anything to be in love (of course, there will probably be kisses and stuff at least here because duh)(wait no this is texting how would that work never mind)**

**Just to be clear, that doesn't mean I don't absolutely love the fanfiction where John and Sherlock are in that sort of relationship, a lot of those are really awesome. It's actually one of the only things I read (aside from real books).**

**Reviews are a beautiful thing.**


	22. February 7

**February 7**

John. SH [sent at 10:23]

John. SH [sent at 10:23]

John. SH [sent at 10:24]

John. SH [sent at 10:25]

_I'm at work, Sherlock. JW [sent at 10:25]_

I know. SH [sent at 10:26]

_What do you need, then? JW [sent at 10:26]_

I'm bored. SH [sent at 10:26]

_You're always bored. JW [sent at 10:27]_

Not always. I just need a case. SH [sent at 10:27]

_Call Lestrade. JW [sent at 10:28]_

I think he and Mycroft might be busy. SH [sent at 10:29]

_What do you mean? JW [sent at 10:29]_

_Oh. JW [sent at 10:29]_

_Gross. JW [sent at 10:30]_

_Check your email. There could be something interesting. JW [sent at 10:31]_

Fine. There won't be. SH [sent at 10:31]

There is, actually. SH [sent at 10:36]

_Great. I've got a patient coming in, so don't text me. JW [sent at 10:36]_

Fine. SH [sent at 10:37]

**[outgoing call to: John Watson]**

**[call accepted]**

_"You think you're real smart, don't you?"_

"Sometimes."

**[call disconnected]**

Rude. SH [sent at 10:39]

* * *

Care to explain where my experiment went? SH [sent at 19:56]

_Depends. Which one? JW [sent at 19:57]_

The mixture of human and ape toes. SH [sent at 19:57]

_They were in my tea kettle. I threw them out. JW [sent at 19:58] _

I needed them! SH [sent at 19:58]

_If you needed them, you wouldn't have kept them in my tea kettle. JW [sent at 19:59]_

The kettle was part of the experiment! SH [sent at 19:59]

_It's not anymore. JW [sent at 19:59]_

It didn't harm the kettle at all, John. SH [sent at 20:00]

_Oh, really? I'll make you some tea from it, and if it didn't affect it all, you can drink it. JW [sent at 20:01]_

Did you forget the time I dropped an eyeball in my tea and drank it? SH [sent at 20:02]

_You're disgusting. JW [sent at 20:02]_

Not disgusting; simply not germaphobic. SH [sent at 20:03]

_I'm pretty sure it's disgusting. JW [sent at 20:03]_

You like me anyway, though. SH [sent at 20:04]

_That's true. JW [sent at 20:04]_

* * *

**Valentines Day is just around the corner, if anyone want to confess their undying love for me (hint, hint) **

**I think reviews are pretty great.**


	23. February 11

**Yes, tis I! Back from a short writer's block! (you probably didn't even notice I was gone)**

**This update is going up around 9 (Pacific time), so yeah, its kinda late.**

**Happy Valentine's Day, you guys. I will be spending this marvelous day on an eight hour rode trip with my family. Whoa, cool. (We're gonna listen to the Harry Potter audio books on the way, so its all good.)**

* * *

**February 11**

Are we supposed to do something for Valentine's Day? SH [sent at 3:58]

_I'm not going to mention that is 4 in the bloody morning, and that I have work in a few hours. JW [sent at 3:59]_

_We don't have to do anything special. JW [sent at 3:59]_

But we're a couple. I thought that's what couples do. SH [sent at 3:59]

_Yes, sometimes. But we don't have to. JW [sent at 4:00]_

Alright. Good. I wasn't looking forward to doing something. SH [sent at 4:00]

_That's what I want to hear. JW [sent at 4:01]_

_Sarcasm, if you didn't pick up on it, Sherlock. JW [sent at 4:01]_

I was aware. SH [sent at 4:02]

* * *

John. SH [sent at 11:34]

John. SH [sent at 11:34]

John. SH [sent at 11:34]

_You could give me a little bloody time to type out an answer, you know. JW [sent at 11:35]_

I know. SH [sent at 11:35]

Are you at work? SH [sent at 11:35]

_I should stop expecting you to notice that I leave in the morning. JW [sent at 11:36]_

Well, yes, that as well, but I wasn't at the flat this morning. SH [sent at 11:36]

_You weren't? JW [sent at 11:37]_

I wasn't. Lestrade texted me. Four different people, men and women, were all found dead from large blows to the head (most likely a shovel or large hammer) on the street in different parts of London with their left ring fingers cut off. I was wondering if you wanted to come and help. SH [sent at 11:38]

_Of course. JW [sent at 11:39]_

_Were they married? Maybe their spouses killed them, then removed the rings by cutting off the finger. JW [sent at 11:38] _

That's what I thought, at first. But then we would be talking about several different murderers, all just so happening to do the same thing within the same two nights. And one of the victims was only fifteen. SH [sent at 11:39]

_Who was the first one to be found? JW [sent at 11:39]_

A so far nameless woman. She was obviously a Londoner, had ridiculously long red hair, and a Deathly Hallows sign from Harry Potter tattoo on her ankle. Found across London from us. SH [sent at 11:40]

_Interesting. I work with a woman with that description. She always wears far too much makeup. But she's perfectly alive with all ten fingers. JW [sent at 11:40]_

And the tattoo? SH [sent at 11:40]

_It's hard to miss the tattoo. JW [sent at 11:41]_

Interesting. SH [sent at 11:42]

I'll let you get back to work now. SH [sent at 11:42]

_Thank you. JW [sent at 11:42]_

But one last thing. What's that woman's name? SH [sent at 11:43]

_She's the receptionist. Her name's Christy, and I have no idea what her last name is. I think it starts with a W. JW [sent at 11:44]_

That'll do. Thank you. SH [sent at 11:44]

_Have fun. JW [sent at 11:44]_

Of course I'll enjoy myself. SH [sent at 11:35]

Murders are always fun, John. SH [sent at 11:45]

* * *

**It's not ideal, but it's something.**

**You can review if you want, it always makes me happy (please review it's what I live off of)**


	24. February 14

**I hate myself for not updating every day like I want to. Sorry. I hate to keep people waiting, let alone almost 60 of you.**

* * *

**February 14**

Are you free this evening? SH [sent at 15:23]

_Um, yes? JW [sent at 15:24]_

You say that like you're unsure. SH [sent at 15:24]

_I thought we weren't doing anything for Valentine's Day. JW [sent at 15:25]_

_So not unsure, but a little confused. JW [sent at 15:25]_

That is not an issue. I wasn't planning anything of the sort, unless you'd like to, of course. SH [sent at 15:25]

_So why are you asking if I'm free? JW [sent at 15:26]_

The case. The one with the missing ring finger victims. I want you to help me tonight. SH [sent at 15:26]

_Where exactly are we going to work on this case? JW [sent at 15:26]_

I thought we could go to the morgue to look at the victims again. SH [sent at 15:27]

_Oh. What a lovely way to spend Valentine's, surrounded by dead bodies. JW [sent at 15:27]_

Maybe not to you, but there will be hearts involved. SH [sent at 15:27]

_Human hearts. It's not exactly the same. JW [sent at 15:28]_

Did you want to do something different? SH [sent at 15:28]

_No, no, I'm sorry. We'll go to the morgue. JW [sent at 15:28]_

Wonderful. I'm heading out now, just get a cab and meet me there. SH [sent at 15:29]

_Fine. JW [sent at 15:29]_

* * *

_I'm at the morgue, but you're not. JW [sent at 16:13]_

Yes, that is an excellent observation, John. I am not, in fact, in the room with you. SH _[sent at 16:13]_

_So where the hell are you? JW __[sent at 16:13]_

I'm a little held up at the moment. SH _[sent at 16:14]_

_With what? JW __[sent at 16:14]_

Traffic. SH _[sent at 16:15]_

_There wasn't any traffic when I was coming. JW __[sent at 16:15]_

Well, evidently, there is now. I'll be there as soon as I can. SH _[sent at 16:15]_

_And what am I supposed to do until then? JW __[sent at 16:15]_

What you usually do at the morgue. Nothing. SH _[sent at 16:15]_

_I help when we're here! JW __[sent at 16:16]_

Name one time. SH _[sent at 16:16]_

_I don't know one off the top of my head. JW __[sent at 16:16]_

That would be because you almost never help. SH _[sent at 16:16]_

_'Almost'? So I do to help! JW __[sent at 16:16]_  


A very minimal amount. SH _[sent at 16:17]_

_Shut up and get here already. JW __[sent at 16:17]_

I have no control over the traffic lights. SH _[sent at 16:17]_

_I bloody well know that, just hurry, okay? JW __[sent at 16:18]_

Fine. Okay. SH _[sent at 16:18]_

_Honestly, where are you? It's been over an hour since you said you'd be here. JW __[sent at 16:43]_

We never agreed on a time, technically. SH _[sent at 16:43]_

_Where the hell are you. JW __[sent at 16:44]_

Walking in. SH _[sent at 16:44]_

_It's about bloody time. JW_

* * *

**Aaand then they do morgue stuff that has nothing to do with texting. What a lovely Valentine's Day for John.**

**Review, please. (I beg of you)**


	25. February 15

**I have nothing to say except an apology for a short chapter.**

* * *

**February 15**

_You should think of another way of presenting gifts to me, Sherlock. On my bed is where you put my Christmas present. JW [sent at 18:34]_

Did you not want your present? I'll take it back. SH [sent at 18:34]

_No, no. I was just...I don't know. JW [sent at 18:35]_

_But it's customary to give gifts on the holiday, not the day after. JW [sent at 18:35]_

I am more than aware. SH [sent at 18:35]

_When did you have the time to get this? JW [sent at 18:35]_

I wasn't stuck in traffic yesterday. SH [sent at 18:36]

_You didn't have to lie. JW [sent at 18:36]_

Yes I did. SH [sent at 18:36]

_Okay, fine, maybe you did. JW [sent at 18:36]_

Just open it. SH [sent at 18:37]

_Fine. JW [sent at 18:37]_

_Thank you. JW [sent at 18:42]_

I was hoping for a more enthusiastic reaction. SH [sent at 18:42]

_Oh, Sherlock! It's just what I wanted! Thank you so much! JW [sent at 18:44]_

_Like that? JW [sent at 18:44]_

That's not what I meant, and you know it. SH [sent at 18:45]

_Do you now know that it's hard to convey much emotion through texts? JW [sent at 18:46]_

I knew that before. SH [sent at 18:46]

_Yeah, well, okay. Thank you for the gift. JW [sent at 18:46]_

You're welcome. Where's mine. SH [sent at 18:46]

_That was rather demanding. I haven't gotten you anything, I thought we weren't doing Valentine's. JW [sent at 18:47]_

I wasn't trying to push you into buying me a gift that I'll never use. SH [sent at 18:47]

_Then why did you ask? JW [sent at 18:48]_

I don't know. SH [sent at 18:48]

_You don't know? JW [sent at 18:49]_

No, I do know. SH [sent at 18:49]

_You're not making sense. JW [sent at 18:49]_

I rarely do. SH [sent at 18:50]

Make sense, that is. SH [sent at 18:50]

_Okay? JW [sent at 18:51]_

Okay. SH [sent at 18:51]

* * *

**hahahahahaha I don't know what this is**

**I posted the first ten or so chapters on AO3, if you care.**

**Okay, well, happy Ragnarök, everyone. It was nice knowing you (Loki could end the world and I would still love him) (actually I don't know if he is responsible for Ragnarök or not)(don't kill me if he's not, I'm not an expert in Norse god mythology) (isn't it a giant devilish wolf or something)(oh well, ignore my Loki comment)**

***whispers* review**


	26. February 18

**Wow, uh, I just noticed how long and annoying some of my past author's notes are...oops. No going back now.**

no format change** = Sherlock (duh); **_italics _**= John (duh); **_italics underlined_** = Greg (not to be confused with Mycroft and/or John)**

* * *

**February 18**

John. SH [sent at 15:23]

John. SH [sent at 15:23]

John. SH [sent at 15:23]

_Please, not today, Sherlock. I'm working. JW [sent at 15:24]_

Fine. SH [sent at 15:24]

* * *

Gavin. SH [sent at 15:26]

Gavin. SH [sent at 15:26]

Gavin. SH [sent at 15:27]

_It's Greg. GL [sent at 15:27]_

Really? Are you sure? SH [sent at 15:28]

_Why are you texting me, Sherlock. I've given you a case already, one that you are yet to solve. GL__[sent at 15:28]_

I'm working on it. But I'm bored. SH [sent at 15:29]

_Why are you bothering me about it? GL [sent at 15:30]_

John's at work. SH [sent at 15:30]

_And when has that ever stopped you from bothering him? GL [sent at 15:31]_

Never. But it is today. SH [sent at 15:31]

_Right, okay. I don't think that I can help you here, unless you were looking for something specific. GL__[sent at 15:32]_

I want to go to the pub. SH [sent at 15:32]

_Excuse me? GL [sent at 15:33]_

I think I was clear. SH [sent at 15:33]

_Yes, well, I didn't think I'd ever get a request like that from Sherlock Holmes. GL__[sent at 15:34]_

Is it honestly that strange? SH [sent at 15:34]

_You really want to go to a pub? With me? GL [sent at 15:35]_

More or less. SH [sent at 15:35]

_Fine, uh, meet me at that one around the corner from my office. GL __[sent at 15:35]_

Fine. SH [sent at 15:36]

_Fine. GL __[sent at 15:36]_

* * *

_Are you aware that Sherlock just asked me to go to a pub with him? GL __[sent at 15:38]_

_That's not exactly what I was expecting to see when I opened that text. JW [sent at 15:39]_

_Imagine my surprise when I opened my own text from him. GL__[ sent at 15:40]_

_Well, I guess have fun? And don't kill him. I have first hand experience with him drunk, and it isn't pretty. JW [sent at 15:41]_

_I'll do my best. GL __[sent at 15:41]_

* * *

**We'll see where this takes us.**

***leans elbows on table and wiggles eyebrows* Hey. Hey. *voice dropping* review.**


	27. February 19

**It is a rare occasion where I have nothing to say up here.**

* * *

**February 19**

_Sherlock, do you realize that it is 1 in the morning, and you are still not back from the pub? JW [sent at 1:08]_

_If that is where you still are. JW [sent at 1:08]_

_Sherlock? JW [sent at 1:10]_

_Sherlock. JW [sent at 1:11]_

Yes, what is it, John? SH [sent at 1:12]

_Are you still at the pub? JW [sent at 1:13]_

I was five minutes ago. Now I am in a cab taking Gordon home. SH [sent at 1:13]

_Gordon? Do you even try to remember his name? JW [sent at 1:14]_

It's not Gordon? SH [sent at 1:14]

_Nope. JW [sent at 1:14]_

Oh. SH [sent at 1:15]

_Is he alright? Why do you need to take him home? JW [sent at 1:15]_

He is rather intoxicated. SH [sent at 1:16]

_Did he hurt himself? JW [sent at 1:16]_

He almost cracked his head open on the corner of our table at the pub, if that's what you mean. SH [sent at 1:16]

_But he's okay? JW [sent at 1:17]_

Why do you care so much? SH [sent at 1:17]

_Because a drunk Greg Lestrade can be rather dangerous to himself and those around him. JW [sent at 1:18]_

Yes! Now I remember. His name is Greg. SH [sent at 1:18]

_That's what you got from that text? JW [sent at 1:19]_

Apparently. SH [sent at 1:19]

_I'm exhausted and I still haven't gotten the answer I woke up for. When will you be home? JW [sent at 1:20]_

Probably not for another hour. SH [sent at 1:21]

At least 54 minutes. SH [sent at 1:21]

_Fine. Goodnight. JW [sent at 1:21]_

I don't see what's good about it. The sky is so cloudy you can't see the moon, and it's colder than it's been all week. SH [sent at 1:22]

And technically, it's morning now. SH [sent at 1:22]

_A simple goodnight would've sufficed. JW [sent at 1:23]_

I try to stray away from 'simple'. SH [sent at 1:23]

_Goodnight. JW [sent at 1:24]_

It's still morning. SH [sent at 1:24]

_Stop texting me, please. JW [sent at 1:25]_

You texted me first. SH [sent at 1:25]

_Sherlock! JW [sent at 1:26]_

Fine. SH [sent at 1:26]

* * *

**I'm just getting downright lazy with these chapters now. Look at how short this is.**

**I guess you could review or something, if you want...**


	28. February 20

**Did you see the Oscars? Did you see Benedict? I screamed every time he was on screen, and it understandably made my family a bit irritated after a while.**

* * *

**February 20**

_Are you feeling any better? JW [sent at 19:25]_

_Not really. I can't blame myself, though, Sherlock was probably conducting one of his silly experiments when he bought me seven shots and timed how fast I could drink them on his phone. GL__ [sent at 19:26]_

_I'm sorry about that. JW [sent at 19:27]_

_Don't be. I just won't be going out to another pub with that man again any time soon. GL__ [sent at 19:27]_

_I expected that would be your response. JW [sent at 19:28]_

_Yeah, well... GL [sent at 19:28]_

_Tell him to wrap up with that case already, will you? GL [sent at 19:28]_

_He solved it yesterday, didn't he tell you? JW [sent at 19:29]_

_Obviously not. GL [sent at 19:29]_

_We'll head over now. JW [sent at 19:30]_

_Thank you. GL [sent at 19:31]_

* * *

_Greg appreciates it when you actually tell him you've solved a case, you know? JW [sent at 19:32]_

I thought I had told him. SH [sent at 19:32]

No, I planned the entire conversation in my Mind Palace. I guess I didn't get to the part of actually doing it. SH [sent at 19:32]

_That sounds about right. JW [sent at 19:33]_

What's that meant to mean? SH [sent at 19:33]

_Never mind, just meet me at Greg's office. JW [sent at 19:34]_

We can't just go together? Aren't you upstairs? SH [sent at 19:34]

_My shift at work just ended, you git. I've been gone all day. JW [sent at 19:35]_

I've been talking to you for hours, though. SH [sent at 19:36]

_Of course you have. Just get going, will you? JW [sent at 19:37]_

Fine. SH [sent at 19:37]

**[incoming call from: Sherlock Holmes]**

**[call accepted]**

_"Hello?"_

"It's Sherlock."

_"I can see that."_

"Oh."

_"Is there something you needed?"_

"I didn't see you this morning."

_"And?"_

"And I wanted to say good morning."

_"It's hardly morning anymore."_

"I still wanted to say it."

_"Then say it."_

"Good morning."

_"Good morning, Sherlock."_

"John?"

_"You'd better be in your cab right now, I'm half way there."_

"I am."

_"Alright, good. Okay."_

"John?"

_"Yes?"_

"I love you."

_"Oh, I've got to go, my cab just stopped. Love you, too."_

**[called disconnected]**

_I'm such an arse. JW [sent at 19:46]_

_I walked in and only just realized we hadn't said that yet. JW [sent at 19:46]_

Oh, did you? SH [sent at 19:47]

_Sorry. JW [sent at 19:47]_

There's nothing to apologize for. I was expecting a stunned silence, not a unthought out rushed reciprocation. SH [sent at 19:48]

_Is 'unthought out rushed reciprocation' a good thing? JW [sent at 19:48]_

I'd say it is. SH [sent at 19:49]

_Damn, less than a month in and we've both already said it. JW [sent at 19:49]_

I've thought it for several months. I'm not surprised at all. SH [sent at 19:50]

_Wait a second. You've thought this for months and you didn't say anything? JW [sent at 19:51]_

That is what I said. SH [sent at 19:51]

_Why didn't you? JW [sent at 19:52]_

I think this is one of the only types of conversations I'd like to have face to face. SH [sent at 19:52]

_Right. Course. When we get home, then. JW [sent at 19:53]_

When we get home. SH [sent at 19:53]

* * *

**This came out of literally no where (misuse of literally, sorry).**

**If you didn't already know, I like when people review.**


	29. February 21

**oops it's been like a week hasn't it**

**I need to start wrapping this thing up, don't I. This chapter won't help with that.**

* * *

**February 21**

John. SH [sent at 10:23]

_Ha! No more than once this time. JW [sent at 10:23]_

I got your attention faster, I don't see the issue. SH [sent at 10:24]

_Me neither. JW [sent at 10:25]_

Straying back to why I texted you...what kind of milk do you usually get? SH [sent at 10:25]

_Why? JW [sent at 10:26]_

_Are you at Tesco? JW [sent at 10:26]_

I asked you a question first. SH [sent at 10:27]

_Fine. 2%. Are you at Tesco? JW [sent at 10:27]_

Obviously. SH [sent at 10:27]

_Why? JW [sent at 10:28]_

I'm getting the milk. SH [sent at 10:28]

_Why? JW [sent at 10:29]_

Because you asked me to. SH [sent at 10:29]

_The last time I asked you was three days ago. JW [sent at 10:30]_

Did you not want me to go to Tesco? SH [sent at 10:30]

_No! I want you at Tesco. Thank you. JW [sent at 10:31]_

_It's just that you've never gotten the milk before. JW [sent at 10:32]_

I'm aware. I got it today. SH [sent at 10:33]

_Apparently you did. JW [sent at 10:33]_

* * *

_This isn't 2%. JW [sent at 14:45]_

They were out. And I was distracted by the man next to me that might have been a murderer. SH _[sent at 14:46]_

He wasn't. SH _[sent at 14:46]_

_Is that why you were at Tesco? JW __[sent at 14:47]_

Of course it was, what other reason would I have to get the milk? SH _[sent at 14:47]_

_I asked you to? JW __[sent at 14:48]_

But I don't drink milk in the morning. SH _[sent at 14:48]_

_Yes you do. I can't be drinking that whole carton every time. JW __[sent at 14:49]_

I use it for experiments on occasions. SH _[sent at 14:49]_

_What experiments do you do that could possibly involve milk? JW __[sent at 14:50]_  


Do you really want me to answer that? SH _[sent at 14:50]_

_Probably not. JW __[sent at 14:51]_

Good, then. SH _[sent at 14:52]_

_So, he wasn't a murderer. JW __[sent at 14:52]_

If you wanted to commence with small talk, John, I am in the flat. We don't have to text. SH _[sent at 14:53]_

_I thought you liked texting. JW __[sent at 14:53]_

It's slower. SH _[sent at 14:54]_

_Fine. JW __[sent at 14:54____]_

* * *

**I said Tesco a lot in this chapter didn't I **

**I need a review. Please.**


	30. February 23

**Please forgive me I'm getting worse and worse at this 'updating' thing.**

**Hahaha thirty chapters what is happening (but, God, they're so short now does it even matter)**

* * *

**February 23**

John. SH [sent at 11:23]

John. SH [sent at 11:24]

_I'm at work. JW [sent at 11:25]_

John, this is important. SH [sent at 11:25]

_Having trouble with an experiment? Or are you just bored? What could possibly be more important than my paying job at the moment? JW [sent at 11:26]_

I need a cigarette. SH [sent at 11:26]

_Uh, no. JW [sent at 11:26]_

Why? SH [sent at 11:27]

_Because they're bad for you? JW [sent at 11:27]_

But I need one. SH [sent at 11:28]

_No. JW [sent at 11:28]_

Please, John? SH [sent at 11:28]

_Look, Sherlock. I respect that you want of one of those foul things, but trust me, you'd regret it. JW [sent at 11:29]_

I doubt that. SH [sent at 11:29]

_Why do you need one so badly that you would text me during my work hours? JW [sent at 11:30]_

No reason. SH [sent at 11:30]

_There's a reason. JW [sent at 11:31]_

Just tell me where they are! SH [sent at 11:31]

_They aren't anywhere! I've thrown them out! JW [sent at 11:32]_

You didn't have any right to throw those out! They were mine! SH [sent at 11:33]

_We'll talk about this when I get back to the flat. I have patients waiting. JW [sent at 11:34]_

_Sherlock? JW [sent at 11:37]_

_Fine, then. JW [sent at 11:40]_

* * *

**[outgoing call to: Sherlock Holmes]**

**[call denied]**

_Pick up your damn phone. I'm on my way back. JW [sent at 18:11]_

_Sherlock? JW __[sent at 18:15]_

_Sherlock? JW __[sent at 18:20]_

_I'm pulling up. JW __[sent at 18:21]_

_Are you even in here? JW __[sent at 18:25]_

_Bloody hell, it smells like smoke, you arse. You didn't even try to cover it up, did you. JW __[sent at 18:27]_

_Where are you? JW __[sent at 18:29]_

* * *

_Is there any chance Sherlock's with you? JW __[sent at 18:30]_

Now's not the best time, John. MH _[sent at 18:32]_

_Is he with you, though? JW __[sent at 18:32]_

I said now is not the time. MH _[sent at 18:33]_

_Has something happened? JW __[sent at 18:34]_

The passcodes we gave Moriarty were bound to catch up with us sometime. Yes, Sherlock is here. MH _[sent at 18:34]_

**[outgoing call to: Mycroft Holmes]**

**[call accepted]**

_"What the bloody hell, Mycroft?"_

"I truly would appreciate it if you would refrain from swearing."

_"Moriarty?"_

"Obviously."

_"What's happened?"_

"He's hacked into some government bases and such. Which would be no problem at all if you could leave my brother and I to work for a while."

_"How long is a while?"_

"..."

_"..."_

"We'll keep you informed."

_"And what's that supposed to-"_

**[call ended]**

* * *

**Did anyone else notice that I left that bit with Moriarty untouched for like a lot chapters because I sure did.**

**I seem unable to make long chapters anymore.**

**Do I even have to ask? (I'd like you to review, if you needed me to clarify)**


End file.
